To Be Unmade
by hotterhatter2211
Summary: The spear touched Clint's chest. It was as if a bucket of ice cold water had been doused on the man. The chill never leaving his bones. Then he could feel it. The claws that held him tightly in his own head. He wanted to destroy it. Get rid of it. Anything. Then it was gone. He was in pure bliss. No pain from his past. He just felt light.


****_Crappy mood = Angst fic. There you have it. Wrote this in a short time. Sorry if it sucks._

**To Be Unmade**

The spear touched Clints chest. It was as if a bucket of ice cold water had been doused on the man. The chill never leaving his bones. Then he could feel it. The claws that held him tightly in his own head. He wanted to destroy it. Get rid of it. Anything. Then it was gone. He was in pure bliss. No pain from his past. He just felt light.

At first he welcomed it. Then he caught a glimpse of his own memory. A memory he had long since forgotten.

"Why haven't you killed me?" The voice of Natasha echoed with the memory.

"We all deserve second chances." Was his response to long ago.

He couldn't just give up. He had to keep fighting. It might be nice to let go and forget, but it wouldn't stop the problem. So he screamed and yelled in his own head.

He aimed a gun at Fury, ready to fire. His aim was right at Fury's face. His finger twitched and with as much effor as he could muster, he moved the gun down, hitting the man's chest. Clint let out a sigh of relief.

His strength to fight for control was at a minimal now. The amount of energy he had used was to much. The other half he had been trying to block now coming back with full strength. He once more was in bliss. No worries or pain.

~/~

The next moment Clint awoke from his dreamlike state was when he was being questioned by Loki. The god stood right infront of Loki, his eyes glaring down.

"What do you know of these Avengers?" Loki asked as he turned and started to pace.

"I-" Clint paused. He couldn't give the man information. It could ruin SHIELD's chances of wining. He willed himself to bite his tongue. The taste of metal and blood formed in his mouth. He would not do it.

Loki turned to look at him again, "I asked you a question agent." His eyes narrowed.

"And I say you can kiss my ass." Clint jumped back as he realized he had said that out loud. Perhaps the power was draining. He could fight it.

Loki gritted his teeth at the man before taking hold of the sceptor. The end glowed a bright blue. Clint's chest suddenly got a stab of pain runing through him. His knees buckled at the agony coursing through his veins. His hands came up to his chest. Beads of sweat rolled down his face as he yelled out in pain.

"You will do well to remember your place, little Hawk." Loki spat at the man as he spoke. "The control might have been a bit weak, but that doesn't mean I still don't own you." Loki's words reached Clint's ears as he flinched away. "Now tell me everything."

Clint felt tears in his eyes. The pain was unbearable. Not only in his chest, but in his heart. The idea of betraying someone he cared for was out of the question. He had betrayed his brother and he promised himself never to do that again.

Clint bit his lip to keep from talking. Loki grabbed his jaw and forced him to look up. Loki seemed to be scaning him. "Answer me."

Clint closed his eyes. He couldn't move his vocal cords still from the pain. So he did the only thing he could think of. He spat at Loki. Loki snarled and threw the man back.

"You will tell me everything." Loki placed the scepter one Clint's chest once more. The feeling of control left him as he felt his mind go back in slumber only to stop.

He felt so weary but could still hear and feel. His words were not his own. The stories of the Avengers slipped through his lips. When it came to Natasha he couldn't help but let out a cry, but never did it leave his lips. The only proof of his anguish was a couple of tears that fell from his eyes.

He had betrayed a friend once more.

Clint then blacked out.

~/~

The final time he awoke was during a fight. He was still disoriented and couldn't see what was happening at first. He felt pain in his head. Clint looked up to find Natasha standing over him.

Confusion.

What was going on. He tested his tongue, "Tasha...?" The name was quite on his lips.

She appeared to be studying him before hitting him once more. Clint blacked out.

~/~

When Clint opened his eyes he found himself in a room. His hands strapped down to a bed. The feeling of that claw gripping him tightly was still present. There was also the other side of him wanting to accept the freedom that the scepter had given him.

"Clint?" A voice from the side asked.

Clint made a muffled noise shaking his head. His body still felt so very cold.

"Is he still there?" the words were sharp.

Clint wanted to reply but the claws seemed to get tighter. He let out a growl.

"Clint, your going to be alright" The voice said. How dare they. They wouldn't understand.

He finally found his words,"You know that? Is that what you know?" He was getting more and more in control. Still he would not be alright. He had killed and betrayed the good guys.

Clint felt the other have again. Eager to please the god that had him under his control, "I have to flush him out." He mumbled not thinking before saying it.

The person next to him said something. He turned over finally realizing it was Natasha. He spoke. His words coming out fast. He had to say what it was. What he was feeling. "Do you know what it's like to be unmade?" was the last thing that left his lips.

"You know that I do." Natasha replied as if understanding Clint's thoughts. He nodded still. The coldness. She couldn't know. Even if she understood the thoughts she wouldn't remember the ice touch.

The chill still ran through his veins.

* * *

_Yeah ending sucks. But whateves. I wrote this to vent and now I feel a bit better._


End file.
